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"No More Chick Pit For You!"

Page 6

WEEKS LATER

E N G L A N D

KENT
The Garden at Hillingham Estate
Mina reads a letter

LETTER FROM JONATHAN HARKER TO MINA MURRAY: Dearest Mina, I'm fine. The Count has invited me to stay at his castle for a month, to tutor him in British custom, although he refuses to believe me about hemlines and the cut of coats. I can say no more except I love you. Ever faithful, Jonathan.

PS - I do hope you're sleeping in a separate room from Lucy? Good girl.

Enter Lucy

LUCY: I love him, I love him! Oh, Mina. It's so wonderful! I've decided! I love him, and I've said yes.

MINA: Finally! Don't tell me. The Texan with the big....you know?

LUCY: Oh, no, to my dear number three--Lord Arthur Holmwood. Lord and Lady Holmwood. Would you want to be my maid of honor? Say yes.

MINA: (No answer)

LUCY: Mina, what is it? This is the most exciting day of my life. You don't seem to care.

MINA: It's just that I'm so terribly worried about Jonathan. This letter I received is so cold. It's so unnatural. It's not like him at all. It's almost like he's....found someone else.

LUCY: Oh, Mina, don't worry. I don't think Jonathan could find someone else even if he tried. I mean, even if he wanted to.

A rainstorm suddenly hits

CAPTAIN'S LOG, THE DEMETER, 27th June: We picked up 50 boxes of experimental earth bound for London, England. Dirty, messy stuff. Set sail at noon into a storm that seemed to come out of nowhere, carrying us out to sea. The sea! How I loathe the sea!

CAPTAIN'S LOG, THE DEMETER, 3rd July: Second mate is gone missing. No great loss. Nearing Gibraltar. Storm continues. Crew uneasy, believes someone or something is aboard the ship with us. Buncha superstitious idiots.

LONDON
Carfax District Lunatic Asylum
A storm rages over London
The patients are in a frenzy
Dr. Seward in his office dictating

RENFIELD (screaming): The Master of all life is at hand! He is cool! Gather round! I am here to do your bidding, Master! Dude! I have worshipped you long and far off! Now that you are near, Master, I am your slave! I await your command! Make me cool! You promised to make me cool!

SEWARD: The case of Renfield grows more interesting. Yet there is method in his madness, with his flies and spiders and coolness. Had I the secret of even one such brilliant mind, the key to the fantasy of one lunatic. (He injects himself with morphine) Mmmm....morphine....mmmmm....Lucy! Lucy! You filthy slut! I love you so much, Lucy!

The Demeter approaches land
A wolf jumps to shore and runs down the street

KENT
LATE THAT NIGHT
Hillingham Estate
Lucy sleepwalks out her bedroom door into the garden
Mina attempts to follows her into the garden maze

MINA: Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

Mina finds Lucy lying on bench near the family burial vault, enjoying sexual congress with, and bitten by Dracula in wolfman form
Dracula sees Mina

DRACULA: No! Do not see me! I'm not even dressed!

MINA: Lucy, Lucy!

LUCY: That's my name, don't wear it out! Where am I?

MINA: Lucy, you're dreaming. You're walking in your sleep again.

LUCY (in extreme confusion and agitation): My soul seemed to leave my body, even though this is a really cute nightgown. There was this agonizing feeling and then I saw you shaking me.

MINA: You're all right, Lucy. I can't say the same for your nightgown, though.

LUCY: It sort of pulled me and lured me and I had no control. And those red eyes! I still have the taste of his blood on my mouth. It was so hot! I wanna do it again!

LONDON
MORNING
Carfax Abbey
Large crates are delivered to the Abbey
Renfield peers out the window of Carfax Asylum

RENFIELD: Master, I am here to do your bidding. Master, I am here. I have worshipped you! Dude! Dude?

CONTRARY TO SOME BELIEFS, THE VAMPIRE, LIKE ANY OTHER NIGHT CREATURE, CAN MOVE ABOUT BY DAY THOUGH IT IS NOT HIS NATURAL TIME AND HIS POWERS ARE WEAK. AND HE IS SOMEWHAT LESS WELL-DRESSED.

A young-looking Dracula rises from a box of earth

HEADLINES FROM VARIOUS NEWSPAPERS:
dated July 7, 1897

The Pall Mall Gazette
WOLF ESCAPES FROM ZOO

The Times
STRANGEST STORM ON RECORD

The Standard
MYSTERY SCHOONER
Crew Missing

EVENING 8 PM
In the streets of London
Dracula walks along the sidewalk

CRIER: See the amazing cinematograph! A wonder of modern civilization! An amazing sensation....Naughty bits guaranteed!

Enter Mina
Dracula sees Mina enter a pharmacist shop

DRACULA: See me. See me now. Now, dammit!

NEWS HAWKER: Escaped wolf from zoo still at large! Paper, sir? (Dracula buys a paper) Thank you, sir.

Mina exits the pharmacy
Dracula bumps into Mina

DRACULA: My humblest apologies. Forgive my ignorance. I have recently arrived from abroad and I do not know your city. Is a beautiful day....oh....yeah.....

MINA: You may purchase a street atlas for six pence. Good day. Hmpf.

Mina turns away

DRACULA: I have offended you. I am only looking for the cinematograph. I understand it is a wonder of the civilized world.

MINA: If you seek culture, then visit a museum. London is filled with them, and the tourists who go to them. Excuse me. (under her breath) Tourists!

Mina walks away
She rounds a corner, and there stands Dracula

DRACULA: A woman so lovely and intelligent should not be walking the streets of London without her gentleman. What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?

MINA: Do I know you, sir? Are you acquainted with my husband? Shall I call the police? I've heard better pick-up lines at a pub. Not that I would be seen in a pub, but I hear stories, oh yes.

DRACULA: Husband? I shall bother you no more. Unless you want me to? No?

Dracula turns away

MINA: Sir, it is I who have been rude. If you are looking....what are you looking at?

DRACULA: Sorry. Please, permit me to introduce myself. I am Prince Vlad of Szekely.

MINA: A prince, no less? Oooooh!

DRACULA: I am your servant. (soft chuckle)

MINA: Wilhelmina Murray.

DRACULA: I am honored, Madame Mina.

MINA: That's "Miss," to you. This way.

KENT
MEANWHILE
The Foyer at Hillingham Estate
The butler admits Dr. Seward

SEWARD: Hello. Mr. Holmwood asked me to stop by to see Miss
Lucy.

BUTLER: Yes, sir.

Butler leads Seward into parlour where Lucy is being fitted in her (really, very, very ugly) wedding gown

BUTLER: Dr. Seward, Miss Lucy.

SEWARD: Thank you.

LUCY: Oh, Jack. Brilliant Jack. Do you like it? (She twirls in the dress) Did Arthur put you up to this or did you want me alone just once before I'm married? Because you could see me along after I'm married, too.....

SEWARD: Miss Lucy, you are embarrassing me. I am here as your doctor. Your fiance is very worried about you, and I assure you a doctor's confidence is sacred. I must have your complete trust.

LUCY: Help me, Jack. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm changing. I can feel it. I can hear everything. I hear the servants at the other end of the house whispering. I hear mice in the attic stomping like elephants. But I'm having horrible nightmares, Jack. The eyes! Oh, Jack. And my taste in clothes....it doesn't bear thinking about!

SEWARD: I'm here, Lucy. Nothing will harm you.

Seward injects Lucy with morphine

LUCY: Owww.....mmmmm....morphine.....

SEWARD: Let it work, Lucy.

LUCY: Oh, Jack. Kiss me. You know you want to....

Seward gives Lucy a big, juicy one on the lips
Outside, Morris and Holmwood ride up on horseback

MORRIS: And may I say Miss Lucy is hotter than a June bride
riding bareback buck-naked in the middle of the...

HOLMWOOD: I would watch my colonial tongue, if I were you.

They get off their horses
Dr. Seward exits from the front door

HOLMWOOD: Hello again. And how is our lovely patient today?

SEWARD: Well, frankly, Arthur, I'm confounded.

MORRIS: Oh, Jack, are you still brooding over Miss Lucy?

SEWARD: Why do you ask? (he looks nervously around) Um...I can only conclude it must be something mental.

HOLMWOOD: How very droll. Did you hear that, Quince? Last week he wants to marry her, and now he wants to have her committed. Let's go have a look at her, shall we?

Holmwood, Seward and Morris enter the parlour
Lucy lies on the couch, wheezing

HOLMWOOD: My god, man! What is she wearing?

SEWARD: I'm at a loss, I admit. I've taken the liberty of cabling Abraham Van Helsing, a metaphysician philosopher.

MORRIS: Sounds like a goddam witchdoctor to me, Jack.

SEWARD: Van Helsing knows more about obscure diseases than any man in the world. He's my teacher and mentor.

HOLMWOOD: Do it, man. Bring him here. Spare no expense.

Exit Seward, Morris and Holmwood

LONDON
MEANWHILE
The London Cinematograph
Dracula and Mina watch a cinematomovie

DRACULA: Astounding! There are no limits to science.

MINA: How can you call this science? Do you think Madame
Curie would invite such comparisons? Really! I shouldn't have come here. I must go.

Mina turns to leave
Dracula holds her by the arm

DRACULA: Do not fear me.

He steers her into a back room and makes her lie on a couch
He leans over her

MINA: Don't! Stop! Some more!

DRACULA: (speaks in Romanian)

MINA: God, who are you? I know you!

DRACULA: I have crossed oceans of time to find you.

Dracula's vampire teeth elongate but he resists biting
Enter white wolf
Cinematograph patrons scatter in fear
Wolf snarls at Mina

DRACULA: (Calls to wolf in Romanian) Come here, Mina.

MINA: You named the wolf Mina?

DRACULA: No, I'm telling you to come here.

DRACULA: (Calls to wolf in Romanian) Come here, Mina.

MINA: You named the wolf Mina?

DRACULA: No, I'm telling you to come here.

Mina pets wolf

DRACULA: He likes you. There is much to be learned from beasts.

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