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MEANWHILE
T R A N S Y L V A N I A
Castle Dracula
Harker's Bedchamber
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL, 3Oth May, Castle Dracula: I think strange things which I dare not confess to my own soul. The
Count, the way he looked at Mina's picture fills me with dread as if I have a part to play in a story that is not known to
me. Plus, I'm really horny.
Harker shaves while looking into a small mirror
Harker cuts himself with the razor
Enter Dracula
HARKER: Count, dude! I didn't hear you come in.
DRACULA: Take care cutting yourself. We wouldn't want there to be an....accident, now, would we?
Dracula breaks the mirror
DRACULA: Whoops! My bad. Seven years bad luck....
Dracula takes the razor, turns and licks off the blood
DRACULA: Are your letters done? I will send them for you.
Dracula licks blood out of the corner of his mouth.
Harker hands Dracula three letters
DRACULA: Thanks! I really appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
Dracula shaves Harker
DRACULA: Oh, by the way, should you leave these rooms, don't accidentally fall asleep in any other part of the castle. It
is old
and has many bad memories. I'm just sayin'.
HARKER: I'm sure I don't understand.
DRACULA: Just take my word for it, won't you, my son?
HARKER: Oh, all right.
Dracula sees a crucifix around Harker's neck
He snarls and pushes Harker away
DRACULA: A trinket of deceit! And it went out of style ages ago! We
are in Transylvania, and Transylvania is not England. Our fashions are not your fashions. And, to you, there shall be
many much more trendy things.
HARKER: I've seen strange things....bloody wolves chasing me through some blue inferno! I know not this fashion of which
you speak!
Harker peers out the window to see wolves in the courtyard
Wolf howl
DRACULA: Listen to them, the children of the night. What sweet music they make.
HARKER: Music? Those animals? I'd much rather listen to cats in heat.
DRACULA: Bourgeois! You have no taste, man.
HARKER: I've led a sheltered life.
DRACULA: I don't even know if I can help you. Crosses, and a tin ear. Sheesh.
HARKER: Woah, don't get too excited. I was attacked once by a wolf. I have issues.
DRACULA: Whatever.
Exit Dracula
Exit Dracula's shadow
Harker peers outside the window
to see Dracula crawling, like a reptile, up the castle wall
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL: I did as Dracula instructed. I wrote three letters--to the firm, to my family, and to my beloved
Mina. I said nothing of my fears as he will read them, no doubt. I know now that I am a prisoner. Forced to listen to the
"Music of the Night" - my god, how stupid - and to sit around all day in this drafty castle, listening to him drone
on and on and on about style. I'm so bloody bored!
LATER THAT NIGHT
Harker wanders the castle
He finds an unused bedchamber
DRACULA'S BRIDE 1: Jonathan! Jonathan, come to me! Come! Lay down, lay back into my arms. Lay back, Jonathan. That's
a good, good, Jonathan....yes....
Three Brides of Dracula seduce Harker
They bite and suck him
Enter Dracula
DRACULA (translation): How dare you touch him! He belongs to me!
BRIDE OF DRACULA 2 (translation): You yourself never loved!
DRACULA (translation): Yes, I too can love. And I shall love again.
BRIDE OF DRACULA 3 (translation): Are we to have nothing tonight?
Dracula gives his brides a human baby
HARKER: Noooooo!
DRACULA: (Laughs) Not bored now, are you? Bwahahahahaa!
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
In the crypt of Castle Dracula
Harker watches gypsies loading boxes of earth onto wagons
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL: The letters I have written have undoubtedly sealed my doom. The Count's gypsies, fearless warriors
who are loyal to the death to whatever nobleman they serve, day and night they toil, filling boxes with decrepit earth from
the bowels of the castle. They are to be delivered to his newly acquired Carfax Abbey in London. Why do they fill these
boxes with earth? And how does that have anything to do with fashion? I don't understand! And those bites Dracula's knee-biters
left itch! I'm going mad! Mad! Mad, I tell you!
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